I'm Back!

Hey, believe me, if you want to be serious in blogging, I think you should find pretty and beautiful background (at least you think it's pretty, beautiful, cute, like I do, =P) for your blog. Tetiba rasa semangat nak berblog tengok blog yang *pada saya* cantik ni. Hihihi.

Oh, I'm still down, believe me, but thanks to my friends, I'm not as I was before. Forgive me, my friend, I have lots, believe me, lots of problem. You wanna switch with mine? Oh, I know that it should not be an excuse, but, I should still ask for forgiveness to all people who have problems with me recently. I'm not at normal state of mind right now. Forgive me, will you?

I think I should rombak balik blog ni. I almost delete some of the post here, tapi my mind blocked me from doing so. I want to see every part of my life here. I really mean "every". With my friends, with the relationships, with my family. I want YOU to see how I am growing up. I want YOU to see my flaws and weaknesses. I want you to see everything. It's good for my self moral development kan?

I did my bad in previous paper. And I try to study after this okey? I hope I can get 3.33 again this semester. I know it's too low, but, hey, I think I will get below than that. Oh, God, please hear me. I don't want to make my parents upset with me.

So, maybe I should start make "azam" for myself. Lagipun saya dah nak dekat 20 tahun kan. Any idea nak suruh saya azam apa? Please, please, please... @_@

Challenge me. 

P/S : Inkmott, I'm single as long as I'm not married. *Double Meaning*

Post Saya.

Teha kata saya punya post banyak yang emo-emo. So, saya nak tukar la. Tapi saya tak nak padam post yang lama-lama. Sebab saya nak tengok perubahan diri saya dari dulu sampai masa depan.


Tak kisah la memalukan ke tak. =)


First step, kita tukar background dulu!

Lantakkan.

Yang mengetahui, saya.

Dan awak. Awak tidak tahu. Walau awak rasa awak tahu.

Ini, di hulu hati. Dan jangan ada siapa yang peduli.

Memori.

Doa.

Sorry babe, if I was out of control. You have no idea what have my life turned out to be. And to be honest, I'm miserable. So, please, do ignore me for this time being. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

Hati saya sakit dan mati.

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

Tolong minta Tuhan sembuhkan hati saya yang dalam kegelapan ni.

Sebab saya hanya mahu cahaya.

Sungguh, saya dah tak ada tempat.

Tuhan, I know You want to test me, just want me to know that you are there. But this is too much.

Salah daftar course and tak boleh betulkan, assignment berlambak-lambak, langsung tak tahu belajar apa selama ni.

And now you want me to know that I miss him, again?

Tak cukup ke aku menangis kat luar ni, Kau buat aku menangis dalam mimpi lagi?

I'm trying to be strong, Ya Allah. But Please, sekejap je. Give me a break. Tolong. Give me a break.

If orang tak dapat faham, it's okey. But You do, understand kan? You do.

Awak. Tolong, pergi. Padam no saya. Tak kira la salah no ke apa ke. Tapi tolong pergi. Jangan muncul dalam mimpi saya lagi.

P/S : Thanks Miss Shima. I really appreciate that.

Orang salah anggap lagi. Haih. Ye, saya dah paham. Tapi anda yang tak paham.

Yang pentingnya, saya takkan cakap apa-apa dah, okeh. Saya tak de pun nak ungkit-ungkit pun. Saya sedar diri, saya mana rapat dengan mamat tu. Macam saya cakap, kat library tu la kali pertama and terakhir.

Tak sangka pulak menda ni yang jadi. Saya jarang gila campur hal personal orang. Apa lagi bila berkait dengan perasaan ni. Saya tak pernah try mengantoikan Mijah depan Hazzy. Or depan siapa-siapa la. Saya tak pernah mengantoikan seseorang depan boy yang dia suka walaupun kadang-kadang saya tak leh tahan nak ketawa. Tapi saya tak pernah. Balik-balik, saya jugak yang kena salah.

Dah. Saya stress. If you want to make me stress like this, do it. And I'll make sure I will never come back to UiTM anymore.

Or maybe that is actually what you want.

P/S : Maaf, sebab anda patut tahu saya panas baran. Dan saya jugak seorang yang amat childish. Tolong jangan tekan saya. Fikiran saya serabut. Saya tak pandai macam korang. Saya tak ada semangat yang tinggi macam korang. And I hate to tell this, sebab saya tahu semua takkan percaya cakap saya. Semua akan perlekehkan cakap saya.
If saya score periksa pun, saya score test or what so ever la, tu tak bermakna saya boleh survive dalam perkara tu!

Semak!

I'm thinking to quit. And Deleting some friends. I'm thinking of sleep. And Never wake up in the end.

I'm totally exhausted.

When the time comes, will we know?

Assignments.