Macam-Macam

I just made a new spectacles!

Thank God my mum bought me a new one, and i am no longer look like a teenager stuck in the middle-age woman face. Abang Shikh said once that I look like a 25 years old lady, oh, please, that's totally not me!

I am back home, relieved that finally I'm back, but exhausted of getting the job done. I have to fill the loan form, tidy my room, and still, I can't meet my friends yet. I miss them.

I don't know why, I'm getting angrier to myself for can't actually do nothing for my grandma. Yup, my grannny, who always stirs my nerves, but I do love her. I love her very much, although she kept me tired of hearing her babbles all day, accusing me for all the thing I'm not. For God's sake, she IS my granny no matter what, and I AM mad to 'somebody' who I think don't have my respect any longer. Come ON! she is YOUR mother! how could you do that to her! dah lah tak balik hari raya, and now she is sick, have your respect, she IS your responsibility! nobody wants you to take care of her, if you don't want to, because WE ALL still ada, tapi have sense la!

benci betul! ridiculous! datang tengok kejap je? nak jaga? MUJUR!

I don't know what to do. please la. even me, myself, aku sakit hati dengan apa yang tok cakap pun, aku ada lagi respect, ada lagi perasaan sayang, ada lagi perasaan tanggungjawab yang aku rasa.
what about you? pray that your own son will NEVER do that to you some day in the future. tolonglah, sakit hati betul.

please and please remember, SYURGA TU BAWAH TAPAK KAKI IBU.

huh. if you want me to be disrespectful, try me, and you will get it. my mom gives me good teaching, and she told me to respect you, but think, how am I gonna respect you if you don't respect how's your mother's feelings? geram la.

mmm... setel.

I'm getting stronger day by day. I don't know why, things seems to be better. small things don't easily influenced my emotions, like I'm used to. I'm not easily upset, and my whole life's changing right now. I should be thankful, thank God, for experiences teach me how to be strong, and life gives me lessons.

how I wish I don't think too much. people think that I think too much and they keep telling me again and again. people, I am tired, yes, I am tired to hear all of you repeating the same thing to me. Yet, I just don't know how to stop thinking. If I can stop think, I assure you, that at that time, I am no longer breathing. I just can't stop my mind functioning. yeah, I know, I put too much effort to my brain. Pity you, brainy.

Abang Hafiz
My mom has a staff who I called Abang Hafiz. err, I actually called him En. Hafiz, but my mom always addressed him as Abang Hafiz when she mentioned him to me. he is such a soft-spoken, goody-two-shoes, (boy-next-door?) person. Dia cute, except for the part yang dia tu kecik je, rendah daripada aku. comel comel comel.

Masa balik hari tu, aku duduk dengan dia kat belakang. and when we go to Chow Kit to but tudung, pity him, duduk je tepi hotel tunggu my mom, aku and Mak Cik Bedah cari tudung. hohoho. memang baik. aku rasa macam untung je sapa yang jadi isteri dia. hahaha.

my friends said that I am such a player. come on, muka macam ni mana ada muka player. hahaha. nanti la aku cerita detail lagi. ngantok.

daa daa...

esok nak jumpa mas dengan aswa jap!

Brother, this is for you.

I feel like I'm missing somebody today. 3 days without contacting him, because I'm worried that I might disturb him. He's a doctor, and he got his own problem too. I just don't want to make someone's life 'miserable' because of me. "but then, I'm busy too."

I miss his 'keperasanan' when he talk like every nurses develop romantic feelings towards him, I like the way of how he's telling me that this girl likes him very much, that girl likes to flirt with him, this mak datin tried to seduce him, and the way he says that he is handsome, and force me to tell him that he is handsome. I like the way he asked me whether he should marry, and force me to find him a good girl to be her spouse, but then later, he said to me that he don't want to marry. "Pulak dah."

I miss his 'kemerepekan', he likes to do weird thingy, he makes me laugh 'like a horse' and then kutuk aku depan-depan. I like when he told me 'pintu rumah jatuh atas kepala dia' and I laughed out loud. I love to think that he is more childish than he should be. Come on, what do you expect from a 23 years old doctor-to-be? he is far too different from what I used to think about him. I love the moment he ask me, "Dah makan belum, buat apa tu?" and after 2 to 3 minutes later, he ask me the same questions again. Short term memory. *wink*

I like the way he threaten me, that if I want us to stay contacting each other, I have to stop 'dogging' and teasing him with Doc D, a cute, nice and educated woman. hehehe. i'm just joking! "chill out, big bro!"

I like the way he advices me, gives sermons, asks me all about my problem, and then suddenly, he switches topic, he keeps telling me and repeating the story of "sampin terjatuh".

I like the way he promises me that he will text me, or tell me to wait for him to finish his job first, but later he will fall asleep, and the morning after he will laugh when I phone him, and says sorry, because he was too tired. "Gedik betol!"

I miss the way he complains about his weight, he tells me he doesn't wanna eat because he wanna lose weight, because he's afraid that nobody will want him. I love the way he teases me, he lies to me, even I know that it is not true, and i will keep pretending that I don't know that matter. "oh, I've grown up, remember?"

since we are not contacting each other for 3 days (ceh, 3 hari je?) I just hope he is in good health, and don't feel burnout lagi. You should be happy with your life, bro! Never think too much, just enjoy your life, even if you face monstrous problems.

Oh, my friends keep repeating that I have scandal with him, and they believe that I have develop romantic feelings towards him. Mind you, he is like my big bro, the one that will keep me laugh after I've cry, the one who I will share my story with, even the tiniest bit of stuff, just like Raifana, my besties.

Raifana gives me inspirations, and he will give me laugh. Raifana will give me strength, keep me in high spirit to keep living, rules my life, and he will distract me from remembering bad memories. Raifana will make me relieved with my cries and he will make me wipe my tears and smile suddenly.

I think it is irony. I thought that if I lost 'that' person, I won't feel the happiness any longer. Instead, Lord knows better. I got many friends, shit, I've started to love my classmates, they are great! they make me laugh all the time. they make me smile even if I don't feel like to smile. I got great roommates, Mijah, Kak Irni and Kak Wahida. I got great besties, and now I got a new great bro.

p/s : Kak Irni kate abang shikh nak tukar nombor telefon sebab ramai sangat orang yang suka kacau abang shikh? hahaha! perasan!

*this big bro is Abang Shikh Mohd Yazid b. Shikh Omar.

I just received a bad news from my mom, telling me that Naqib's granny had passed away this morning, around 1a.m. so, Naqib, takziah aku ucapkan. Now, it made sense, I phoned him yesterday and he didn't pick up the phone. May Allah bless her soul and may Allah regards her as faithful Muslimin, places her among the Mukminin, Insya Allah.

the internet connection is kinda pissing me off recently. it is getting slower, and I hope this will not going to last for long. I am frustrated with the connection, what do you expect when your mother pays RM68 per month and still, you cannot surf the internet when you are really in need for a particular purpose? oh, Celcomers, please listen to our complaints, your LOyal users...please do...hohoho...

one facts about me, i've finish one assignment! yeeho! so, that means I have 3 to 4 assignments to be done, yet, i don't even start for a single piece of paper. aga aga aga... so, menari2 lah aku hari ni nak buat semua. and who says that taking 'language' as a major is not hard? linguistic is a kind of science, try it, and you will be surprised as I am, wondering, what the hell am I doing in this kind of stuff?

I am not like Kei and Sai, and Ainatul, they are like....Geniuses, and it seems that the others are like, brilliant, they got most of the qualities you expect to have in English expertise, oh God (oh LOrd-using Kei's slangs) I guess I really am tercampak je dalam course ni.

I just realized that Poo is one of the youngest too! i got no specialties now, no immunity of being one of the youngest, because Teha, Ema, Bazla, and now Poo has joined the club. we are all born in 1991, but diorang ni, adoyai, susah betol nak cakap. Brain, berfungsilah dengan baik, wahai sayang!

mmm... among all of the TESLian part 1, I must say that I like Kei, it is not the 'liking feeling' towards boy, but you know, I am very much impressed of him. I don't know why, he got that 'qualities' that make all of us attracted to him. For me he's cool, although he is the kind of 'Hotties'... oh, janganlah fikir yang aku minat pulak kat dia. Aku just kagum dengan dia, and even he tries to annoy me, he just can't. More or less, I am fond of him in a way that he brings himself out for attention, but in the same time, we have to dig out his life to see his true colours. Oh, I know, I like his personality! yah, the most suitable sentence that FINALLY i can make for that guy.

I'm going back to kuantan this friday. i miss my home so much, boleh la ajak Aswa pergi jalan2. now I can drive, I wish my mother gives me permission to drive the Kenari. kalau tak, cilok sekejap motor abah, pergi jalan-jalan ke TC. aku pernah buat kot, sorang-sorang pulak tu.

Abang Shikh

I made a promise to write something about Abg Shikh, but I don't know what to write. Some how, I just know him for a few weeks, and though I got quite some to tell, I just don't see any significance telling them to people. hahaha. Except for the part that my friends think that I have scandal with him. Come on, guys! he's my senior kot. Apart from that, he's a nice man that i got to know, and he always make me laugh, like the way I laugh when I talk with Naqib. err...maybe i will write more about him in the next post.

until then, taa... nak makan megi plak...